~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Tuesday, Sept. 15, 2009 - 9:22 p.m.]
= mou ichi do. =

Once, twice.. is there a thrice??

arghZ.. so disappointed with myself!!
Missed the first chance, and purposefully missed the second chance! omg.. how stupid can that be?
Chances don't even come twice, do they?
Guess I was too presumptuous.

Mou ichi do, onegaishimasu.

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Sunday, Sept. 13, 2009 - 11:15 p.m.]
= Jitters! =

Looking forward to Monday, I think.

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Thursday, Sept. 10, 2009 - 8:44 p.m.]
= outings~ =

Mon 7/9 - 毘沙門（びしゃもん） @ Raffles City
Wed 9/9 - Mayim Chinese Cuisine & Udders Ice Cream @ West Mall
Thurs 10/9 - Bakerzin @ JP
Sat 12/9 - Orchard?

wheee~ :)
It's really rare that I'm out that frequently.

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Wednesday, Sept. 09, 2009 - 11:28 p.m.]
= ra-bu. =

Is there like some ラブ ラブ pollen flying in the air recently?
Somehow, the recent "hot" topic (in real time, virtual space) touches on love, marriage, relationship and such.
Thus, it's so apt that I came across this quote, which is pretty true, though rather extremistic.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friend' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." ~Neil Gaiman (Source)

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Tuesday, Sept. 08, 2009 - 11:27 p.m.]
= On the other side. =

It's so easy to feel indifferent & indulge in passivity when you're standing on the other side of the fence, especially when it's the time of the year for all the various elections, but you're NOT walking around trying to garner votes this time round. hahZ.
I still think, being on the move is good. =)

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Tuesday, Sept. 08, 2009 - 6:58 p.m.]
= Repercussions. and of Planning. =

I don't know why.
On one hand I would like to help them to clarify information. (Which does me good, because then it allows me to understand the system so I can help my mei)
But then again, sometimes you're simply too caught up with other stuff to find the time to digest all the varying confusing information.
Anyway, hope what's fine will come out fine.

But then, this little incident got me thinking hard about planning.
Indeed, planning goes a long way.
Years and years down the road, every single decision you made in your past, or decisions made by others for you in your past, it all matters.
Now, what do you say about autonomy? Did you really get to choose your life plan? Or the system plans your life plan from the very first day you step into a particular school? Who decides you should be entrenched in that little stream? Or who really help you in your road to emancipation?
Whoever decides? You? Parents? Someone of a higher order? The system? The omnipresent One? Your past deeds?
And what about those who got out of the system halfway (be it in the good or bad way) as a result of the interplay of several factors?
Did she get to choose? Is she now entrenched in the state of choicelessness? Did she lack any other possible opportunities? Or did she get more than what she bargained for? What happens thereafter if certain opportunities were not grasped at the right moment? Are we supposed to be responsible for it? Or as what the religious say, it's her own life determined by her previous past deeds?

But anyway, back to the issue on hand, as usual, on hindsight, one didn't proceed with the information finding with a 'helpful heart'. Sheesh.
I only know that for now, my eyes and head hurts. Terrible headache. Instant-present-life karmic repercussions because of the half-hearted attitude. And perhaps some repercussions of my past decisions surfacing soon.

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Tuesday, Sept. 08, 2009 - 5:24 p.m.]
= Twisted. =

Twisted.
Surface indifference, masking genuine exuberance.
Excruciating.

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Tuesday, Sept. 08, 2009 - 4:28 p.m.]
= Quotes~ =

(source)

"People need trouble -- a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don't mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance." ~ William Faulkner

"Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!" ~ Oscar Wilde

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Monday, Sept. 07, 2009 - 12:09 a.m.]
= Top on my list. =

Being random, yes, again.
Top 10 things I wanna do (in no order of preference):

1. Visit Japan.
2. No more mugging & lessons (as a attendee. I don't mind being the deliverer though).
3. Leave sg. (No, I'm not being repetitive here. Leaving sg doesn't equate to hols)
4. Be able to listen and converse in basic Japanese!
5. Drive to my heart's content!
6. Indulge in at least 24 hours non-stop of HK/Jap/Kor/TW-movies/dramas/anime.
7. Indulge in non-academic, fiction books!!
8. Be struck by an inspiration.
9. Let my loved ones know and be able to feel that I care for them without words, cos I'm too thin-skin to bring myself to say it to their faces. They are the best!
10. Engage in a truthful heart-to-heart talk & be rest assured that it's all confidential.

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Sunday, Sept. 06, 2009 - 1:15 p.m.]
= Contradictory thoughts. =

There are so many contradictory thoughts running through my head (far more frequently) recently.
Today, I have the unknowing urge to stay at home. Just be at home. For unspoken reasons. But then, as necessity has it, I need to return because I've got an early lesson tomorrow.
Then, the dilemma between wanting to getaway and reside in the comfort of home.
And the other dilemma of just wanting to throw away any related familiarity of 23 years of my life just to land myself somewhere not restricted and stifled by familiarity.
The dilemma of wanting order or land myself in disarray and unfamiliarity.
The dilemma of wanting a near working place, but not toooo near, lest it affected my personal realm of privacy.
The dilemma of wanting to manage my life well by NOT pushing away the secondary responsibilities as though they meant nothing v.s. pushing the secondary ones away to manage the core priorities/responsibilities. Even though things will still work out fine, with or without your presence, it ain't so nice to be a regular absentee right?
The urge to want to do so many other things unrelated to my studies -- such as focusing on my 10th & 11th module. hahZ. They've changed their names from 3rd/4th module to the 10th/11th module.
The wish to just indulge in brainless media programmes yet rationality forbids.
The effort to find the silver lining in every cloud yet shrouded by the dark clouds of reality.
And the list goes on. When will I ever reconcile all the contradictions?

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Friday, Sept. 04, 2009 - 9:08 a.m.]
= Nightmare. =

I dreamt that I had hair that's almost waist long.
That's not the scary part yet.
But then, horrors of horrors, I dreamt that I dyed half of my waist length hair to BRIGHT PINK!!!!!
EEEEEKKKKKZZZZ!!!!
Not only do my future profession not allow that, my personal frame of reference totally reject such an idea!!
I guessed I woke up at that point in time. *shivers*

~ * ~ whatever happens, happens for a reason. :) ~ * ~

[Wednesday, Sept. 02, 2009 - 12:27 a.m.]
= baa baa baaa~ =

"baa baa baaaaa..." it bleated.
Into its black round eyes, you stare, and deciphered.
"baa.. baaaaa..."
With no hesitation, a hug you gave. Comforted.

previous - next

= recent 5 entrieZ =
Announcement. - Sunday, Sept. 20, 2009
mou ichi do. - Tuesday, Sept. 15, 2009
Jitters! - Sunday, Sept. 13, 2009
outings~ - Thursday, Sept. 10, 2009
ra-bu. - Wednesday, Sept. 09, 2009
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